Lost

Lately i have had many quarrels with her. its not something i wanted. But i feel that her expectations of me grew. From sending her home only became sending to work too.. and now sending her to meet her friends..
Maybe i'm just selfish... i dont want to send her and after tat go home feeling lonely. When i said yes i want to see her bank account, i didnt mean it. I just wanted her to come true with her finance so that we could talk it out. It seem confusing to me why sometimes she could afford certain things when she didnt even earn enough that month to spend. Its not that i mind paying.. but sometimes i would also like her to lighten my burden.. we both go out and she could rarely offer to pay anything. Though she say its not about money and its her pride.. i dont know wat is the situation with her.. she would rather complain to michelle and not talk to me. I believe i dote on her and spend all i have on her every month. I hope to get something else in return like her understanding and her concern of my other flaws..

She complained last few weekends that we didnt go anywhere.. we end up spending time at home or at her place. But i was thinking didnt we go watch movie in the last few weeks ? She says i suspect her and peep into her phone.. I only tot it was strange why she had no money and wanted to sign up plan.. cant she maybe help me with our dating expenses ?? end up she said she only jealous that people have things she dont..

Even though everything happened, I know the one i love is still her. I dont wish to quarrel.
I decided. No matter what she says next time or she black face... i must tolerate and not quarrel anymore.

End of contract

Today is the last 2nd day of my work. Although the last day is suppose to be on monday, I have some off i can clear so i am taking thursday as my last day here.

My future seems grim (dark) , I dont know what my future lies and if i can get another job soon.
money would become a big problem when i have to pay for bills and yet be able to survive the jobless months.

My relationship has been 7 months going 8 months. Through the ups and downs, I realised and learnt alot. I know we are flawed and perhaps we are still adapting to each other. Time to time, we both did sweet things to each other and that strengthened the relationship. I believe in changing for the better. I know my darling is also changing too...

There is no1 that is perfect for another. We all change and adapt so we could live together.
Like they say, its easy to start, difficult to maintain. Staying together is more important than thinking of oneself problem. Like in most relationships, problems are there. Its through the problems that we grow stronger, have faith in the relationship and it will last.

For this month, I said i will do something special. A surprise for the monthiversary. I hope its something darling will like.

But for now, Its job hunt thats on my mind. The most important item on my piority list.