bad day

fed up and fucked up day for me.

morning had problems at work. Users dont understand the problems at the technical side..
saying last time got ppl do before.. so dont care.. my colleague whom they claim did before must explain then we can do another way.

Afternoon darling phone went flat. was so worried i was going crazy.
literally going crazy cos i cant contact her and she seem to be angry tat i nt going to find her later on. I tot she was ok last night saying today dont meet. But today she was acting like tat. I dont understand. We almost quarrelled even. I know she is feeling unwell and bad lately. But my day had been so bad.. and i was feeling giddy, headache and having stress..
I should say i didnt understand her well enough. I really dont know whats on her mind what she is thinking and what she is going through. To me i was having a bad time and she was at school with her friends. She was upset that i want to go home and do my project becos that would mean i neglect her. I know that.. but i really want to do that project for the money.. I incurred a huge bill on her malaysia trip and i dont want her to feel the burden. I want to improve our life together so i must earn more.
Darling i know if u read this u will be very upset. I just want you to know what i was thinking and feeling. Not that i want to vent the anger on you or this blog. I'm sorry that we turned out this way. i want to know whats going on with you also. I hope we can counter each of our differences and really be happy together. I never thought i would find someone i really think is the one for me. I dont want us to fall apart. Pls !!!! someone help me !!...

Met yew tow after work. Agreed on it the other day so i had to come. I had thoughts of calling it off so i could meet darling but i figured that meeting a primary school classmate whom i have known since primary 1 is rare. A chance that may not come by in many years.

I was really furious and sick just before meeting him cos i was fed up. Darling could tell i was fed up. She say she gave in to me. I just didnt understand y she was having fun with her friends and i had work to do at home, she had something she was not happy about. Wat was on her mind and what was it she wanted ? Undivided attention ? I was finally feeling tired and falling sick cos i had not slept well for many nights already. Only on weekends do i have time to have a good sleep. Darling, remember u used to say love someone you need to sacrifice (xi sheng) ?
I am really trying hard but it is just not good enough. What should i do my darling ?
Teach me what i should do. I know you have high expectations of me even if u didnt say mostly.

After all that's said, i have vent all my frustrations out and i hope we will continue to be fine together.